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Better Boundaries

    Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining our emotional well-being and protecting our mental health.
    Boundaries act as a safeguard, allowing us to set limits and define what is acceptable and unacceptable in our relationships and interactions.
    However, it’s not always easy to recognise when our boundaries are being compromised. In this blog, we’ll explore 12 signs that show you may need better boundaries in your life.

    12 Signs You Need Better Boundaries

    1. Feeling Overwhelmed and Drained

    If you constantly find yourself feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained after interacting with certain individuals or situations, it may be a sign that your boundaries are being violated. It’s crucial to recognise when others are overstepping your limits and taking more from you than you can comfortably give.

    2. Difficulty Saying No

    Struggling to say no and feeling obligated to say yes to every request or demand can be a clear indication of weak boundaries. People with poor boundaries often fear disappointing others or fear being seen as selfish. Learning to assertively say no when necessary is an important aspect of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Check out our article on assertive communication here

    3. Constantly Seeking Approval

    If you constantly seek validation and approval from others, it may suggest that you have weak boundaries. Relying on external validation can lead to self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence. Strengthening your boundaries involves developing a healthy sense of self-worth and relying less on others for validation.

    4. Feeling Responsible for Others' Emotions

    Taking on the responsibility for others’ emotions or trying to fix their problems is a common sign of poor boundaries. It’s important to remember that you are not responsible for the emotional well-being of others. Each individual is accountable for their own feelings and actions.

    5. Ignoring Your Own Needs

    Putting the needs of others before your own consistently can indicate weak boundaries. Neglecting self-care and personal needs in favour of meeting the demands and expectations of others can lead to burnout and resentment. Setting boundaries allows you to prioritise your own well-being without feeling guilty.

    6. Tolerating Disrespectful Behaviour

    Allowing others to disrespect or mistreat you without consequence is a significant sign that your boundaries need strengthening. Respecting your own worth and setting clear expectations for how you want to be treated is essential for cultivating healthy relationships.

    7. Difficulty Expressing Feelings

    If you find it challenging to express your feelings and communicate your needs, it may indicate weak boundaries. Healthy boundaries involve open and honest communication, allowing you to express your emotions and assertively communicate your wants and needs.

    Difficulty Expressing Feelings

    8. Feeling Guilty for Taking Time for Yourself

    Experiencing guilt or shame when taking time for yourself is a sign that your boundaries need improvement. Taking care of your own well-being is not selfish; it’s essential for maintaining a healthy and balanced life. Remember that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity.

    9. Allowing Others to Determine Your Worth

    If you allow others to determine your worth, it’s a sign that your boundaries need strengthening. Recognise that your self-worth should not be dependent on the opinions or judgments of others. Setting boundaries allows you to define your own value and worth.

    10. Feeling Obligated to Justify Your Choices

    If you constantly feel the need to justify your choices or defend your actions to others, it may indicate weak boundaries. Your choices and decisions are yours to make, and you do not need to explain or justify them to anyone unless you choose to do so.

    11. Difficulty Setting Priorities

    Struggling to set priorities and constantly feeling pulled in multiple directions can be a sign that you need better boundaries. When you have clear boundaries, you can effectively prioritise your time, energy, and resources according to your own needs and values.

    12. Feeling Resentful and Frustrated

    Persistent feelings of resentment and frustration towards others may indicate that your boundaries are being violated. It’s important to pay attention to these emotions and explore whether they stem from a lack of clear boundaries. Establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries can help alleviate these negative emotions.

    Feeling Resentful and Frustrated

    Final Word

    Recognising the signs that indicate a need for better boundaries is the first step towards creating healthier and more fulfilling relationships. If you identify with any of the signs mentioned in this article, it’s time to prioritise your well-being and establish better boundaries. Remember that setting boundaries is not selfish but necessary for maintaining your emotional and mental health. Start by practicing self-awareness, assertiveness, and self-care as you work towards creating boundaries that honour and respect your needs and values.
    If you would like to professional help from a psychologist to set better boundaries, why not reach out? To book, click here or call our friendly reception team on 1800 327 477 (AU) / 0800 327 477 (NZ).