Ways To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work

Ways To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work

We can’t help who we fall in love with. It just happens…whether you’re in the same city or country, or whether you’ve been offered your dream job halfway across the world.

That said, no one enters a relationship hoping it will remain long-distance. So, if you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential that both parties are willing to make the most of a fundamentally bad (and hopefully temporary) circumstance in order to make the relationship work. The good news is that if you and your partner are willing to put in the effort, you absolutely can succeed.

Why long-distance relationships are tough

Being away from your partner long-term is especially hard because you must rely soley on communication to keep your relationship strong – which at times, may require more effort than a typical relationship. It brings with it a whole set of questions that most couples don’t have to consider, such as when you’ll next see each other again and how often you can talk.

But take a look at it this way – since you may have to work harder at keeping open communication and regularly scheduling time for video call dates etc, you will end up with a stronger relationship in the long run, than couples who live nearby and take their closeness for granted.

Here are six suggestions for maintaining your bond and making a long-distance relationship work.

# 1 – Set some ground rules

It’s essential to start your relationship on the same page. That means taking the time to talk about realistic and healthy expectations for each other. Figure out when you’ll be able to chat and how regularly you’ll be able to see each other – will it be once a month, or once every 3 months? There are no right or wrong decisions, but problems can arise if these types of questions aren’t discussed.

# 2 – Set goals

It’s important to have common goals – that extend beyond living in the same place at some point. While you should never lose your sense of independence, to maintain a successful, long-term relationship, you need to be working towards the same goals with your other half. This can include projects such as learning a new language together, investing in a property, all the way down to when and if you would like to start a family. Agreeing on goals will strengthen your bond as a couple but also give you something solid to look forward to during those painful periods of separation.

# 3 – Travel together

While it may require some planning, spending some holiday time together can improve relationships and provide bonding opportunities. Not only will you be able to see each other, but it will also give you something to look forward to during your weeks apart. These trips don’t have to be costly – two-week luxury vacations around the world are not necessary! We’re talking weekend getaways where you can relax, unwind and explore a new city together in a place that’s a fair meeting distance between the both of you.

# 4 – Send voice recordings

It’s easy to misunderstand a text or email, as well as the time it takes to get an answer. For instance, you could easily assume your partner is ignoring you, while they are actually stuck in an important business meeting. Instead, how about sending each other a voice recording? Just hearing a loved one’s voice throughout the day can make all the difference. Similarly, where possible, try to use FaceTime or video calls when chatting. Being able to see each other makes you feel a little closer together.

# 5 – Take note of details

During a conversation with your other half, if they mention they have a doctor’s appointment or an important event coming up, be sure to make a note. Put it in your calendar and then follow it up. As an example, if they have an important meeting with their boss, send them a brief ‘Hope it goes well today! Thinking of you’ text beforehand and then be sure to ask how it went afterward too. This shows your partner that you do not have an ‘out-of-sight, out-of-mind’ approach to the relationship. It will make them feel special and let them know that they are on your mind and that what matters to them, matters to you too.

# 6 – Hide notes and gifts

It’s difficult to say goodbye after a visit. So how about leaving a gift behind? In a small way, this helps to ‘keep you present’. It could be something as simple as a book you think they’d enjoy, or a box of chocolates left on their bedside table. Another romantic idea is to write a few love notes describing what you enjoyed most during your visit and hide them in different locations around your partner’s place. Keep a note of where you hid them and send them on a treasure hunt once you’ve returned home. Alternatively, stick the notes in a place where you know your partner will see them during their day, such as an ‘I love you’ note in their diary or in their lunch bag.

Long-distance relationships and your mental health

Regardless of how you and your partner make it work, a long-distance relationship can be an emotional rollercoaster and may at times take a toll on your mental health. You may be stressing out about when you will next see each other or find yourself struggling with negative thoughts of being so far away from your loved one.

It may help to speak with a professional therapist online who can give you the support and tools you need to help you cope with the situation. With anonymity, it can be easier to open up without the fear of being judged.

If you’d like to speak with one of our psychologists who is experienced in handling relationship issues, anxiety, stress management, or other concerns, click here to book online today. Or, give our friendly reception team a call on 1800 327 477 (AU) or 0800 327 477 (NZ).