Developing Resilience

It’s a fact of life that we may encounter twists and turns, ranging from small disruptions to life-changing catastrophes such as the death of a loved one, a life-altering accident, or a major disease. Every event has a different impact on people, bringing with it a unique stream of thoughts, powerful emotions, and uncertainties. However, people generally adapt successfully to life-changing circumstances and stressful situations over time and that is, in part, due to resilience.

What is resilience?

Psychologists describe resilience as the means of adjusting well in the face of hardship, threats, trauma, or any kind of severe sources of stress—such as interpersonal or family problems, health issues, or workplace and financial stressors. While resilience entails “bouncing back” from adversity, it can also indicate significant personal improvement.

While unpleasant events can be very difficult to go through, they don’t have to decide how your life turns out. You have control over change and growth in many facets of your life. Resilience plays this role. Being more resilient not only allows you to get through difficult situations, but it also allows you to grow and enhance your life in the process.

That said, it is important to note that being resilient does not guarantee that a person will not face challenges or be distressed. Emotional pain is typical among those who have experienced considerable tragedy in their lives.

Why Resilience is important

People that are resilient don’t wallow in setbacks; instead, they acknowledge the problem, learn from their mistakes, and move on.

One of the most essential reasons for having a resilient attitude is that how we handle adversity and stress has a huge impact on our ability to succeed. The truth is that we’re going to fail from time to time – making mistakes and falling flat on our faces is an unavoidable part of life – but it’s how we handle it that matters.

Here are some helpful traits commonly found in resilient people:

• People who are resilient have a positive outlook on the future. That is, they keep a good attitude and look forward to better days ahead.
• Resilient people have clear goals and a strong desire to achieve them.
• Resilient people are sensitive and empathetic, but they don’t waste time worrying about what other people think of them. They keep healthy relationships yet refuse to succumb to peer pressure.
• Resilient people never see themselves as victims; instead, they concentrate their time and energy on altering the things they can influence.

Developing resilience

While certain conditions may make some people more resilient than others, resilience isn’t necessarily a personality attribute shared by all. Resilience, on the other hand, is a set of behaviours, attitudes, and actions that everyone can learn to develop and improve.

Increasing your resilience takes time and effort, much like strengthening a muscle. Connection, wellbeing, healthy thinking, and finding meaning are four essential components that can help you endure and actually learn to benefit from such painful and trying events. Use these tactics to build your ability for resilience to weather and grow from adversity.

• Find a sense of purpose

Finding a sense of purpose in the face of a crisis or tragedy can play a crucial role in your recovery. This could be getting involved in your community, developing your spirituality, or engaging in activities that are meaningful to you.

Helping others also gives you a sense of purpose, promotes self-worth and connects you with other people. Why not try supporting a friend in their time of need or even volunteering at a homeless shelter or local hospital? This can empower you to grow in resilience.

• Have a strong social network

It’s crucial to have friends you can trust. In times of distress, having caring, supportive people around you acts as a protective element. While simply discussing a problem with a friend or loved one will not make your problems go away, it will help you to share your feelings, gain support and come up with alternative solutions.

Connecting with caring and understanding people might help you remember that you’re not alone when facing challenges. Concentrate on finding trustworthy and sympathetic people who will affirm your feelings, since this will help you develop resilience.

• Nuture yourself

When you’re anxious, it’s all too easy to forget about yourself. A common reaction to a crisis situation is to lose your appetite, ignore exercise, and not get enough sleep. Instead, even when you’re distressed, concentrate on improving your self-nurturance skills. Make time for your favourite activities.

Self-care may be a trendy buzzword, but it’s also a proven strategy for improving mental health and resilience. This is due to the fact that stress is both physical and emotional. A positive lifestyle such as healthy nutrition, regular exercise adequate sleep and keeping hydrated can help your body cope with stress and in turn, lessen the impact of negative emotions such as sadness, worry and anxiety.

• Be optimistic

Maintaining a positive view during stressful times might be challenging, but it is a vital aspect of resiliency. Although the situation you’re in may be unpleasant currently, it’s important to maintain hope and optimism for a better future.

Positive thinking does not imply neglecting a problem in order to concentrate on the positive. It entails accepting that failures are inevitable and that you possess the skills and capacities to overcome the obstacles you confront.

• Keep things in perspective

How you think has a big impact on how you feel and how resilient you are when confronted with challenges. Identify areas of irrational thinking, such as a tendency to catastrophize problems or a belief that the world is conspiring against you and replace them with a more balanced and realistic thinking habit.

For instance, if you’re feeling unable to cope during a difficult time, tell yourself that what happened to you isn’t a predictor of what will happen in the future. While you can’t always change the outcome of a highly stressful situation, you can control how you react to it and cope with it.

• Accept change

Accept the fact that change is an inevitable element of life. As a result of adversity in your life, certain ambitions or ideals may seem unattainable. Accepting conditions that you can’t change can let you concentrate on those that you can.

Use what you’ve learned in the past. It can help you in the future to deal well with challenging situations by looking back at who or what was helpful previously. Recall where you’ve found strength in the past and ask yourself what you’ve learnt from those experiences.

Seeking Help

Don’t give up if you’re still having trouble dealing with difficult situations; developing resilience takes time. Remember – it is possible for everyone to learn to be resilient and the level of resilience varies greatly from one person to the next.

Getting help is a key step to developing resilience, so be sure to seek support when you need it.

Some find that working through resources and employing the measures described above are enough to help build their resilience. However, if you find that you feel stuck or have trouble making progress in this area, Positive Mind Works is here to help. Our experienced psychologists can help you develop successful strategies.

To learn more call 1800 327 477 (AU) / 0800 327 477 (NZ) or book your first appointment today here.