Dealing with Heartache – Protecting Your Mental Health After a Breakup

The decision to end a relationship can be hard. Extra care is needed during this difficult time to look after your mental health and maintain your wellbeing. Neglecting to do this could result in anxiety, depression, loss of self-confidence, and isolation from friends and family.

How Breakups Can Affect Your Mental Health

While some breakups are easy and mutual, others may be extremely painful and soul-shattering. A breakup, especially one that was completely unexpected, can sometimes feel like grief, as you have lost the person who was most important to you. As a result, you may experience feelings of rejection, betrayal, guilt, embarrassment, and even relief. Usual routines, objects and places suddenly seem tainted with sadness, and the most basic of tasks – like cooking a meal or turning up to work – can feel impossible.

It’s also important to note that if you are already predisposed to a mental disorder, facing a stressful life event such as a breakup, can trigger poor decisions and could catapult you into facing other issues such as depression and anxiety.

Take steps to rebuild your life and deal with heartache

Coming to terms with the deep feelings of pain and loss after a breakup can be tough, but there are practical steps that you can work towards to begin rebuilding your life and deal with heartache. We’ve put together our top tips for helping you to cope and protect your mental health after a relationship breakup.

#1 Look after yourself

Good self-care is key to keep your energy levels and mood upbeat while you process the breakup. To do this, make sure you are eating well-balanced meals and maintaining a regular exercise routine, along with ensuring that you get good sleep each night.  Make plans to have fun with friends, spend some time with loved ones, or treat yourself to a new purchase.

2# Be kind to yourself

While it may be difficult not to blame yourself at times and think about how it could have ended differently, being hard on yourself will only make things worse. Having self-compassion is a powerful tool that will help you to see yourself in a more positive way and filter out any negative emotions. Studies show that those who had higher levels of self-compassion had fewer negative feelings and thoughts about their split – even nine months down the line.

3# Think positively

Try to avoid re-living past events, memories and negative feelings. The more we dwell on negative thoughts, the more anxious patterns occur. Interruption and distraction is an effective means to let go of these harmful emotions and allows you to move on. Distract yourself with a good movie, music, reading, or whatever hobby you most enjoy. Surround yourself with positive things that will nourish your mind.

#4 Lean on your loved ones

It may be tempting to stay in bed and avoid reality for the first few weeks after a breakup, but it is important to get out and make new memories with those you love and trust rather than isolating yourself. For many who are going through a traumatic split, the times when they are all alone can be the hardest moments, as they remind them of the time that would be spent with their ex. For this reason, it can be helpful to schedule activities to create structure and keep you busy. It may also help to talk things through with ones you trust, such as a best friend, or sibling.

Remember – everyone processes a relationship breakup differently. It may take longer than you expected, or you may find that you are able to process your feelings in a way that allows you to heal quicker than you imagined. Time is a healer, allow yourself to recover at your own pace.

That said, if you are really struggling to deal with heartache and no matter what you try, your mood doesn’t lift, it may be time to reach out for professional help. Talking things over with a psychologist can help you learn coping techniques and help you find ways to re-engage with people. To book an appointment with one of our experienced psychologists or to organise couples counselling, please click here.