Understanding Self-Harm and Finding Healthier Ways to Cope
Self-harming behaviours can be distressing and difficult to understand, both for the person experiencing them and for those who care about them.
At Positive Mind Works, we recognise that self-harm is a complex coping strategy rather than a simple behaviour with a single cause. For many people, it may be a way of managing overwhelming emotions, distressing thoughts, the impacts of trauma, anxiety, shame, emotional numbness, or emotional pain that feels difficult to express in other ways.
If you are engaging in self-harming behaviours, or are concerned about someone you care about, please know that you are not alone. Support is available, and with the right care and understanding, recovery is possible.
What Are Self-Harming Behaviours?
Self-harm refers to behaviours that intentionally cause injury or harm to oneself. These behaviours can take many forms and vary in severity.
Examples may include:
- Cutting or scratching the skin
- Burning oneself
- Hitting or punching oneself
- Interfering with wound healing
- Excessive risk-taking behaviours
- Other forms of self-injury used to manage emotional distress
While self-harm can sometimes occur alongside suicidal thoughts, many people who self-harm are not trying to end their lives. Instead, self-harm often serves as a coping mechanism for intense emotional experiences.
Why Do People Self-Harm?
There is no single cause of self-harm.
For many people, self-harming behaviours develop as an attempt to relieve overwhelming emotional pain, cope with anxiety or panic, manage strong feelings (such as anger, shame, guilt, or self-criticism), or create a sense of control during difficult periods. They can also provide an escape for emotional numbness or dissociation, or be a way to express feelings that are difficult to put into words.
Signs Someone May Be Struggling
The signs of self-harm can vary significantly from person to person.
Some common indicators include:
- Unexplained injuries, cuts, burns, or bruises
- Wearing long sleeves or concealing parts of the body
- Withdrawal from friends and family
- Significant emotional distress
- Increased irritability or mood changes
- Feelings of hopelessness or low self-worth
- Avoidance of social situations
- Difficulty managing strong emotions
It’s important not to make assumptions. A compassionate and non-judgemental conversation can often be the first step toward getting help.
How Therapy Can Help
Many people feel ashamed or frightened to discuss self-harm. Our psychologists, counsellors, and mental health professionals provide a safe, confidential environment where you can explore what is happening without judgement.
Therapy focuses not only on reducing self-harming behaviours but also on understanding and addressing the underlying emotional needs that drive them.
Support may include:
Understanding Triggers
Together, we explore situations, emotions, thoughts, and experiences that contribute to self-harming urges.
Building Emotional Regulation Skills
Learning how to manage intense emotions is often a key part of recovery. We help clients develop practical skills for coping with distress, anxiety, anger, shame, and emotional overwhelm.
Developing Alternative Coping Strategies
Therapy can help identify healthier ways to manage difficult emotions while building confidence in using these skills during challenging moments.
Addressing Underlying Difficulties
Self-harm may occur alongside conditions such as:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Trauma and PTSD
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Eating disorders
- Neurodivergence
- Grief and loss
Addressing these underlying concerns can significantly reduce the need to rely on self-harm as a coping strategy.
Support for Young People
Self-harming behaviours are particularly common during adolescence and young adulthood, when emotions can feel especially intense and identity is still developing.
Our team works with young people and their families to create supportive, practical treatment plans that help build resilience, emotional awareness, and healthier coping skills.
We also support parents and caregivers who may be feeling worried, confused, or unsure how best to help.
Recovery Is Possible
Recovery from self-harm does not happen overnight, and setbacks can occur. However, with the right support, many people learn new ways to manage distress and develop a healthier relationship with themselves and their emotions.
You do not have to face this alone.
Reach Out Today
If self-harming behaviours are affecting your life, or if you’re concerned about someone you care about, our team is here to help.
Positive Mind Works offers professional, evidence-based support across Australia and New Zealand through both online and in-person services.
Contact us today to learn more about how therapy can support your journey towards recovery, resilience, and emotional wellbeing.
Australia
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Emergency: 000
- 13YARN (13 92 76) Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander support
New Zealand
1737 – Need to Talk?
Emergency: 111
Available 24 hours a day to speak with a trained counsellor.
Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Harming Behaviours
What are self-harming behaviours?
Self-harming behaviours are actions where a person intentionally causes harm or injury to themselves as a way of coping with emotional distress, overwhelming feelings, or difficult life experiences. Self-harm can take many forms and is often a sign that someone is struggling emotionally rather than seeking attention.
Why do people self-harm?
People may self-harm to manage intense emotions such as sadness, anxiety, anger, shame, guilt, or emotional numbness. For some, self-harm provides temporary relief from emotional pain, even though it does not address the underlying causes.
Does self-harm mean someone is suicidal?
Not always. While self-harm and suicidal thoughts can occur together, many people who self-harm are not intending to end their lives. However, because self-harm can increase risk and emotional distress, it is important to seek professional support.
What are the warning signs of self-harm?
Warning signs can include unexplained cuts, burns, bruises, wearing clothing that conceals injuries, social withdrawal, mood changes, low self-esteem, increased emotional distress, or avoiding discussions about injuries or emotions.
What type of therapy is most effective for self-harm?
Several therapies can be helpful, but Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is one of the most researched approaches for reducing self-harming behaviours. Other approaches, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and trauma-informed therapy, may also be beneficial depending on individual needs.
